I have had the blessed misfortune of experiencing heartache at various times in my life. Whether it has been from the loss of my mother in my early childhood, or the disappointment that reared its head when I was forced to accept the fact that there are inherently evil people in the world that seek to cause undue harm; along the journey of life, I have become well versed in hurt. And guess what? I'm SO GLAD that I have.
Many years ago, the late Luther Vandross musically enlightened the world with his remake of "A House is Not a Home" in which he lyrically suggested that a house could only be a home if love is there-waiting for you. As a musician drawn to lyrics, I was sold. Like so many folks in the world, I knew exactly what Luther was singing about. It seemed as if he was singing directly to my hurting place.
One day, however, that Luther song just wasn't doing it for me. I found myself in a place of disappointment and hurt that felt so custom built for me, neither person nor thing could get through to me. For a short spell, I even wondered if God himself could find me in such a place. The awesome part of this seemingly sad story, however, is that through life experiences, and in the midst of everything, I had the strength and wisdom that allowed me to speak to my hurt and make my hurting place home.
As a woman of Christian faith, I Corinthians 13:7 of Biblical text became paramount to the counter-narrative that helped me manage and eventually dissipate my hurt, pain and disappointment:
[Love] always protects, [love] always trusts, [love] always hopes, [love] always perseveres.
Now, it may seem as if the text on which I chose to lean spoke only to Luther's romantic version interpretation of how to make a house a home. However, because I had learned a long time ago how to maneuver through and speak to my hurt, that verse, spoke to me like this:
[Cynae's self-love] always protects [herself].
[Cynae's self-love] always trusts herself .
[Cynae's self-love] always has hope for herself. [Cynae's self-love] will always push her to persevere.
What is the point to all of this sharing? I'm glad you asked.
Let me make it clear and simple:
At certain times, self-love (or lack thereof) has been my hurting place...
And to tell you the truth, my very presentation of this personal testimony is proof of both how good God is and how far I have come.
Maybe you are in a similar place in life. Perhaps this message meets you in a place where there is so much pain and disappointment that you can barely recognize where or who you are.
My advice to you: Sometimes we have to stand in the place where our hearts and souls were broken; for those with the calling of leadership, sometimes we must make our hurting place home until everything we thought could only be pain is replaced with passion, determination and drive.
I encourage you to 'walk' around your hurting place knowing that it is okay to protect, trust, and have hope for yourself. Persevere, knowing that loving yourself enough to push through to your healing, breakthrough, and renewal is a necessity in your journey.
This 'new residence' is only temporary, but put in the work to make this healing place home. [Symbolically] Paint the walls, put up photos, buy new furniture do whatever you have to do! Remember the positive energy that you create has the power to tear down any negative energy that ever attempted to dwell in your space. Then you will see that everything you have gone through has divine purpose that is attached to your journey. Your healing and the renewal of your mind begins with YOU.