It is often said that you are either coming out of a storm, in a storm, or just getting out of a storm. Wherever you are on this spectrum, most of us are really sick of the rain in our lives. If we're not careful, we will even miss the sunshine because we are so worried about a gloomy forecast.
So we cry. Maybe not with tears, but in actions, or a lack of faith in ourselves or others. There are some who say we shouldn't spend our time crying--that it's a waste since nothing can come of it. I say GO FOR IT. Not too long ago, I entered a contest (a writing contest, of course)--an act of deliberate confidence in my ability to strengthen my craft by letting others "hear" my voice. Part of the application process included writing a cover letter that more or less, simply answered the question, "Who and why are you?" I wrote a little something, attached it to my entry, and moved on. Around that time, life got a little crazy. Weeks passed by, and the craziness of life started to latch on. I kept listening to that ever present voice in my head that always yells, "GET UP!" anytime I start to sink. And I did. But that doesn't mean that I didn't still cry like a baby. One day, though, I was scrolling through my writing portfolio and I came upon that contest cover letter. I read it. Read it again. And then, read it one more time. And then I began to laugh. See, we are truly the only ones who can tell ourselves WHO we are and WHY we are. But we have to take time to figure it all out first. Many times, that comes after the tears have fallen. I find that when I cry, my mind is racing a million frames a minute, replaying things that are wrong, right, fair, or unfair. Everything plays out like a movie, with conflicts, a climax, rising and falling action...ALL OF THAT. But guess what? After all of that has run across my mental screen, I am able to breath and begin mapping a resolution. I have found that both survival, peace, and success all stem from the same place: the mind. As humans, most of us have not found success in preventing negative thoughts from entering into our psyche. However, the key, in my opinion, is learning how to control them: Organize them. Unpack them. DISCREDIT THEM. So cry, honey, cry. Open yourself to the "why" behind the sadness that tries to manifest itself in your day-to-day. And then, get to work...cause ain't nobody got time to waste. ~Cynae
1 Comment
My daughter loves to color. As her mother, I have enjoyed watching her coloring book sheets go from big blobs of color to actual attempts at staying within the lines (even though I love both outcomes).
Like her mother, she is a gift giver. She finds absolute joy in creating little presents to give to those she loves. I have been on the receiving end of pictures, imaginary cupcakes and other gifts that make me grin from ear to ear. Lately, I've noticed that she has become fascinated with giving me the same gift over and over again: a folded coloring sheet that she completed weeks ago. Nevertheless, my response is always the same, over-the-top mommy response that she is used to. No matter what I'm doing, I stop, perk myself up, widen my eyes, clap and then give her a huge hug as I tell her how amazing both she and her gift are. This week, I've gotten that same coloring page, but she has changed things up a bit. Now, instead of just giving me the paper, she finds things around the house with which to wrap the folded coloring sheet. I've secretly started to watch her as she works to color and fold whatever scrap paper she can find that will hold the recycled gift she has for me. It is fascinating to watch the entire process and even sweeter to see the moment where she finally decides that the masterpiece has reached a stage where it good enough to give. Each time, the process seems to get longer and longer as great care and meticulous attention is given to those details that matter to her. I began to think about my little one's actions through the lens of both leadership and partnership. With these thoughts came somewhat of a "reality check list" on which I started reflecting. As can be expected, the blogger in me felt the urge to share: As a leader:
As both leader and partner, I want to offer the same enthusiasm to those who depend on me both personally and professionally as I do to my daughter who joyously offers me her recycled gifts day after day.
Today, I challenge you to reflect on how you typically respond to those directly impacted by your behavior. We never want to lose sight of how simple actions can either motivate and encourage those around us or cause them to go elsewhere to feel appreciated and significant.
Last month, my city received so much rain that certain roads had to remain closed weeks after the storm had passed. During a storm, it is so interesting to me how my family members and friends take time to call one another to make sure all is well on the other end of the line. The conversation, at least in my family, begins something like this:
Caller: "Are ya'll alright over there?" You see, the thing about Houston, Texas is that it is so big that certain areas of town can get slammed with rains that cause what I'm going to name "call your insurance company flooding" while other areas get just enough water to wet the tires on your SUV. Even though I grew up in Texas and have lived here for several years as an adult, this phenomenon never ceases to amaze me. This is due, in part, because there has been more than one occasion when I've been able to not only turn on my kitchen appliances to cook a meal for my family during a storm, but have also turned on the television only to find that some members of the Houston community have gone hours (sometimes days) without electricity or have been forced from their homes due to high water. For years, certain communities like mine have been the ones to look at the destruction caused by the floods from afar, untouched by the city's tragedy. A quick, "I'm so glad we're okay", is uttered right before we pick up with life as usual shortly after the storm has moved. This year, however, something in Houston was very different. Suddenly, it seemed as though communities who had never experienced such flooding, were being shown on the news as being some of the hardest hit neighborhoods in the city. Flooding typically seen in areas known to be flood zones arrived at the doorstep of those who for years, had felt protected from high waters caused by heavy rain. As random, every day events usually do (one of my "weird" qualities that I have learned to love) this made me think about compassion --a word often taken for granted and used flippantly. Here's my summary of thoughts in a few words: It never rains everywhere at one time. See, there will be times when we will be in positions to help people impacted by circumstances that have never come knocking at our front door. What will you do? Will you simply watch from afar and "pray" everything works out for them ? Will you, out of genuine concern for fellowman, do that which is in your power to help? Let's follow this same question up with something that may cause you to think a little harder: When it "rains" in your life, and you find yourself going through an unfamiliar and scary experience, what will be your hope? That those in positions to help you will simply pat you on the back and say, "I will be praying that everything works out" ?OR, that someone, whether friend, family, or stranger, will extend a helping hand toward you and encourage you through your situation in a manner that says, "I've been there. Let me help" ? So often, we get caught up in in our own lives and interests that we forget our simple, human connection to others. I'm reminded of the poetic expression rendered by the late Reverend Martin Niemöller that came to be widely known for his "First they came..." poems (if you don't know about him, click on the link for a quick Wikipedia read). More eloquently than this blog post, his words nudge those who will listen, to remember that at one point in life, everyone may need someone to stand for them. While his justice-driven phrases have historic roots, the underlying message is key to understanding the importance of fostering compassion in everything we do. You see, just like in the city of Houston, in life, rarely does it rain on everyone's parade at the same time. Don't get so caught up in your "glad it wasn't me" mentality that you forget, simply put, that it may, one day BE YOU in a position of need because:
Keep in mind that we are all human and by default, we share experiences. If today, you have the power to help someone make it to their tomorrow, then do something. Say something. Share something that you have learned through your similar experience. In a nutshell: Let someone borrow your umbrella for a while. Don't live a life so consumed with yourself and your own that you forget your connection to those around you. Things are so much better, in my opinion, once we learn to compassionately help one another. ~Cynae |